Imogen of the Internet blatantly forsakes web accessibility guidelines when redesigning her Tumblr for the twelfth time today.

Imogen of the Internet can connect to dial-up BBSes by whistling into a funnel attached to a phone line.

Imogen of the Internet crochets about half of her possessions.

Imogen of the Internet has only been photographed by cheap webcams and cell phones.

Imogen of the Internet is torn between filling out the music sections of all her online profiles and ensuring that none of her friends will have ever heard of her favorite bands in order to protect their precious obscurity.

Imogen of the Internet can type over 110 words per minute, but runs a 20-minute mile. The rest of her family has the opposite problem.

Imogen of the Internet, in spite of her American nationality, opened a Mixi account just to show off her ironic purikura album.

Etsy is responsible for Imogen of the Internet's entire economic viability.

Imogen of the Internet has a habit of paying fifty dollars for clothes that are manufactured to look like five-dollar hand-me-downs.

Whether or not Imogen of the Internet will live out her life without causing national scandal depends entirely on Mark Zuckerberg's privacy policies.